goodbye 2005. hello 2006.

happy new year peeps. it's 2006 already. time flies with just a blink of an eye =/ how sad. so it's a brand new year now, which means i gotta make some new resolutions to replace the uncompleted old ones. hehe.

• save more money. bullshit
• cut down on my shopping sprees. HAHA
• put more effort and study harder to obtain better results for my higher diploma. yeah, knowing the fact that donkee wouldn't be studying with me anymore. *sobs*
  
• cut down on my ciggies consumption! that's one of the ways for me to save more money =/
• get to know my friends better before it's too late.
  
• T.O.L.E.R.A.T.E - is that somewhat a powerful word, donkee?
• to improve on the relationships between me and my family members.
• stop my procrastinating habit.

yeah, i guess that's all. will be going out now to join the crowd in welcoming the new year! enjoy people. happy new year again =)

pangkor pixxies.

enjoy! or just pretend you're enjoying them =/

now, do you feel like going to pangkor?

sorry KC, no captions this time. too lazy. and too many pictures. hehe.

us + pangkor island ;)

i'm back from pangkor =) pangkor was great. absolutely fantabulous. well, one of the main reasons why it's so great is probably because i'm with ryan + my bitches (KC, rachel, virgo & cylee) and that makes it even better. i'm at home right now and i swear, i'm missing the wonderful moments so bad. not to mention i miss ryan too. he's back in T.I, again. yeah, so..pangkor is a romantic island. beautiful and cozy i would say. the sound of the wave is still resounding in my ears till this day. And now i'm back home..ryan is not around..and the torture is unbearable.

we began our journey on the 27th by driving over to ryan's place in teluk intan at 5.30am and parked the cars there. i know it's damn friggin' early. we used 2 cars and as usual, ryan and KC drove all the way there for 2 hours, and the girls suffered lazed for 2 hours ;p we had breakfast and took the direct bus at 8.30am to the bus station in lumut. the journey is about 1 hour - 1 hour 15 minutes. No great scenery or view along the way because it's a highway but what the heck, i was damn sleepy and ryan was beside me so there's nothing more that i want. that's even more than enough ;)

lumut bus station is situated just right beside the jetty so it's not hard to find the place to get a ferry. the ferry trip costs about RM5.00 per person and the trip is about 30 minutes. the sight of the open sea is really tempting. from lumut, the ferry will stop at 2 ports with the last port being the place which common tourist will disembark. as soon as we reached the 2nd port, we went looking for a taxi (mini pink vans! actually) to bring us to our chalet. that ride costs RM15.00 for the 6 of us. it's about a 10 minutes ride. i consider them cheap actually. we stayed in Palma Beach Resort in Teluk Nipah which is a popular spot for beach lovers like me with many chalets and resorts especially for the budget travelers. our chalet rate was RM95.00 nett per room per night. cheap rate as well. urm, nope. it's RM90.00 nett actually. we bargained! yes, you can actually bargain. heh. ryan and i took 1 room. the rest of them took the other. KC got to sleep with the girls. lucky idiot. but, useless. he's _ _ _ _ _ _ _. heh heh heh.

let me summarize my 3 days 2 nights trip there.
day 1

• checked in at 12pm and took a rest.
• off we go to the beach in the afternoon when it's so freakin' hot! i'm damn black tan now.
• took a nice cold bath and went for a brief walk along the street to look for something to eat for dinner.
• found a restaurant which serves chinese seafood. as for the price, it's like the normal price around m'sia. so, nothing to worry about.
• at night, HAHAHAHA. BOOZEEEEEEEEE! the wholee nighttt. drink drank drunk drink drank drunk. wonderful.
• we played poker as well. our rules : WHO WIN, WHO DRINK. not the usual WHO LOSE, WHO DRINK okay. cause it's like, we bought limited amount of liquor on purpose. so everyone wanna win. because they're dying to drink! my friends are all hardcore drinkers. believe me. i don't know if you get what i was trying to say but mann, it was fun. poor ryan.

day 2

• bloody woke up at 8 something in the morning because of that donkee beside me. we know you slept the earliest o-kay. but that doesn't mean you need to wake everyone up at that time.
• re-sleep back again from 9 something till 12 something.
• getting all prepared to hunt for our lunch. ended up eating in a western food restaurant just right outside our chalet.
• went for island hopping and snorkelling in the afternoon till evening. FUUUUNNNN and CHEAPPPPP. island hopping at RM10.00 per person which includes screaming in the boat and roaming around the other small islands. snorkelling at RM10.00 per person as well. life jacket and that piece of eyewear provided. the snorkeling experience there was heaven. i kinda like fell in love with it. the view is gorgeous. the colourful fishes just put me in a trance spell. i had a few pieces of bread and it's magnificent to see the fishes taking a bite of the bread I thrown.
• darn tired. took a bath and a rest.
• at night, BOOOOOOOOZEEE again. hahaha. but we do not need to go and hunt for food that night which is a good thing. because we had BBQ! another darn cheap deal. RM150 for 6 person. food (chicken, fish, squid, clam) and carbonated drinks provided. plates and cutleries provided. tables and chairs provided. nice, eh? they even barbequed and serve the food for us. but you know what's the best thing? it's by the beach! weee.

day 3

• woke up earlier. packed up and is not ready to go home.
• repeat the same transporting routine. mini pink van ---> ferry ---> bus ---> car ---> home. how tiring.

we left pangkor on the 29th. it's sad to be leaving actually. i love that place. pangkor have all the things we needed for a nice beach vacation. boat ride, snorkelling, fishing, kayaking, sun tanning et cetera. i don't know if i'll ever go to pangkor again, but now that i've experienced it, i know that pangkor is can be considered as a nice dream getaway. *sigh* it's such an unforgettable experience. get your ass to pangkor people!

reminder : never try eating bbq-ed food with liquor + ciggie. i now have sexy voice. fuck, my sorethroat is killing me. but it's all worth it ;)

pictures coming up next. i'm tired already. good day everyone.

here we come.

there will not be any updates from me till the 29th or 30th. i'm off to pangkor island with my bitchez. weeeeeeee. it's gonna be fun fun fun. see yaaaaa.

good day everyone.

lousy dad -_-"

another fun yet tiring day. yeah, going for a shopping spree is actually tiring. but going shopping with your dad is even worse. i'm dead tired because he hops from one shop to the other so damn fast i wasn't even spared a second to breathe. when they go for shopping, they really mean shopping. shopping as in grabbing and buying many piece of shirts and pants in no time. believe me, some men are as good as the girls when it comes to shopping. but there's still something which i can't tolerate much. when they are done with buying their stuffs, the next thing they would like to tell you is "let's go home."

me : so u're done with ur stuffs redy. happy-la?
dad : *keeps quiet*
me : so now it's me and mummy's turn redy-la?
dad : u all wanna shop then go ahead-la. i can sit in mcdonald's and wait till u're all done. i can drink coffee and have my burger.
me : u say one-arh? don't regret-arh?
dad : go go go go.
me : okay. we'll call and meet u up when we are done.

[45 MINUTES later]

*pussycat doll's stickwitu playing on my phone*
me : yes?
dad : hello, where are u all?
me : upstairs. mummy is in the fitting room.
dad : *sighs*
me : why? cannot wait redy-arh?
dad : faster faster. wanna go home redy-la. wait until backside also pain.
me : hahha. expected. no patience.

liar him. i really thought he was gonna wait for us. but he surrendered. lousy dad.

mewwy cwistmas =)

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

may God bless you all and of course, myself.

never nevr nv.

this article scares the shit outta me.

i've always wanted a guy who can prepare me good delicious food. but i'm changing my mind. i don't wanna marry a cook anymore. perhaps donkee should start thinking about changing his profession. -_-"

after reading through that article, i flipped over the next page. and i saw this piece of article.

damn. remember i blogged about donkee going over to Flinders for an interview in the previous post? how eerie. i think i have some kinda special sense.

*i read both that articles in the newspaper this morning. i came online and looked for the links to show it to you guys =)

let it stay the same.

great day. did something i totally love today with mum and sis. shopping. we jam drove all the way to bangsar for blook and then hopped over to sri hartamas for cats whiskers. mannn, cats whiskers offers tonnes of good shit! i wanna go there againnnnn. i want to get that pair of pumps! but they don't have the size for my small feet. *cries* but thank god. i got myself 3 pretty tops. HAHAHAHAHA. so darn happy.

donkee has got an interview tomorrow in flinders at mont kiara. am i supposed to wish him good luck, all the best, hope you get through it and all these shit? i don't think i need to. because i reckon he'll definitely get his job. something in which i don't want it to happen. i know i'm being a lil' selfish over here. i can't help it. sometimes i wish he'll just change his mind and go back to study. sometimes i wish i can brainwash him. sometimes i wish that there will be a U-turn somewhere in his lil brain. *sigh* gone all the good ol' days. no more breakfast or lunch session together. cause i'll be in college. no more dinner and supper session together. cause he'll be working. no more late night mamak-ings. no more late night movies. no more...everything. life is gonna be so fuck up. i hate to face changes in life. any sort of changes. because i suck in adapting myself in a brand new life or situation. i'm a big idiot for that. once he asked me if i will wait for him and just try getting used to it. i gave him a very much confident yes. sorry ling, i lied. my answer was supposed to be, i'll try.

i don't feel good right now. i can feel tears streaming down my cheek. got to go. nite.

happy birthday to S[k]Y- !!

DONKEE WILL BE BACK TOMORROW!!
bwahahahahhaha :-)

i'm too happy to say anything right now.
i'm just t o o h a p p y.

good night peeps. sweet dreams.

*haappppyyy bbbiirrttthdaaayy S[k]Y-! u're finally 19. hohohoho.

huggy huggy, anyone?

i'm down with a terrible cold, sorethroat and fever.

i think this is love sick.

i'm energy-less.

i need hugs =(

i want baby =((

dig a hole and bury my face.

holy fuck. i encountered the most embarrassing moment in my whole goddamn life just now.

last week, i met this brother friend of mine while i was having breakfast with my family. it has been like months or almost a year since i last saw him. since then, he had been calling and sms-ing me to come out for drinks and all. i was just too lazy to entertain. you see, we don't have much topic to talk about. he usually would start telling me every 101 details about his past or current love life. something which i'm not quite interested to know. (man, i'm so mean)

until this morning, he called and sms-ed me, again. asking me to get my arse out tonight. i declined. i lied that i'll be going over to visit my cousin in KL and i won't be coming home till late night. fine. he called again around 7 plus in the evening asking whether if ever i can make it. i told him "no, i'm still in KL." when the fact that i'm at home.

about 9 plus, i have this friend, edwin who came back to m'sia from melbourne for holiday called up asking me to go have drinks with him and anton. so i thought, why not? we'll definately have tonnes of stuff to catch up on. and i can go out to get my puff after not having to smoke for 2 fcking days. about 10, edwin came and pick me up and we went to look for anton.

in the car, edwin asked, "so where do you think should we go now? bayu or modern?"
i was damn loud. "modern modern! damn long never step into modern already!"
"okay, since you like modern so much we'll go to modern."

we reached there and started looking for a place to sit. it was kinda packed.
edwin asked, "where do you wanna sit? at the back there or this corridor over here?"
i was loud again. "here here! at the back there damn many people man."
"okay, we'll sit here."

as we were seated, edwin asked for my phone cause he wanna have a look. then, my phone started ringing. it's a miscall. i told edwin, "my god, this fella again. he wouldn't stop calling. don't answer. don't give a damn." *showing the hand gestures of DON'T ANSWER* it rang again. "fuck, damn fan-lah this fella." *showing the damn kao irritated face*

after a minute, i got an sms.
"wah, purposely duwan to answer my call lah now. i am just right infront of you if you don't know."

................................................. *stunned* then i started looking infront of me. oh my holy god.

"fuck man. the guy who miscalled is actually right infront of us and he saw every single move of mine."
i told that 2 bastards.

anton that so-called virgin started laughing his ass off. you're so dead he told me.edwin that rich fool started laughing even louder than anton. you're the one who chose this place. you're the one who chose this seat! don't blame us! he said.

they're so right. after that i decided to reply his sms.
"sorry, didn't notice you. i just came back. my friend went to KL and pick me up. i thought its abit late already to ask you to come out. so i came with my friends. i did not ignore your calls. i thought you were playing a fool with me cause u only miscalled me. and, my friend was having my phone with him. so i couldn't call you back."

he replied, "yah rite..KL. wanna ignore say wanna ignore lah. i saw that you purposely don't wanna answer. i saw that action of yours. whatever lah. i'm not in the mood d.."

.......urm, okay. i didn't know what to say. i was quite pissed. pissed because he was being so small gas. i replied, "fine. think whatever you wanna think. if you don't plan to call me out anymore, let me know. i'll be more than glad."

as soon as he received my sms. he called that mamak fella, pay the bills and left.

BUTTTT, D'YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING EMBARRASSING I WAS?! i wanted to dig a hole in the ground and bury my face! DAMNNNNNN. now go ahead and laugh.

:-(

I.
MISS.
MY.
DONKEE.

today is only the 3rd day -_-" HELP.

the year end room cleaning session.

fcking tiring day. started cleaning my room from this afternoon itself till.....urm, don't know. it's not even done yet. haha. the amount of dusts was like 10 layers thick and i think i could fill a whole truck load of rubbish. haha. my rubbish stuffs are still scattered all over the floor. bahh. will continue tomorrow. but you know what? i found quite a number of old stuff which i don't even remember having them.

item #1

her name is mousie (i don't know if it is really a mouse, but nevermind). mousie was supposed to have a partner. but its partner ran away last year, leaving her alone. i'm afraid mousie will die of loneliness, depression and DESPERATION. so i gave her to Mylo. now mousie is Mylo's new sex partner. haha.

item #2cartoon pencils! garfield, hello kitty, pooh bear, whatever, you name it and i have it. i have a huge collection of them. been collecting since like errr, 10 or 11 years ago? frankly, i hate all the characters now. but still, i love my pencils ;) nahh. i don't think it's a weird collectible item. i am hardworking. that's why i collect pencils. hee.

item #3

i've come to realised that i've received tonnes of greeting cards before. birthday cards, valentine's cards, christmas cards, thank you cards, bla bla bla. they're nice and beautiful. some are hand-made. my friends are so sweet. but there's something which i would like to admit..i can't remember many of the sender's faces =/ and i don't remember having so many greeting cards.

item #4among all the cards, this is the....weirdest valentine's card i've received. and the content......."valentine you drive me insane, my head's in a mess and i'm smitten. you're totally delish my no. 1 wish and you're a lusciously saucy sex kitten!" sex kitten?? ...which part of me looked like a sex kitten? or maybe i have whiskers? *sigh* weird. but still, why kittennnn??

i've actually got more rubbish to post but i'm too lazy. baby wants me to go to bed now. so, good night everyone. i wanna go to bed early so i can wake up early tomorrow to continue digging for rubbish cleaning my room. haha.

my last resort.

i've decided. i'm gonna continue doing my higher diploma. besides studying, i don't think there's anything else that i can do. i just cannot imagine myself standing at the front desk working from 3pm till 11pm or 11pm till 7am even on weekends and public holidays. fuck it. and, many people asked me why had i actually thought about not pursuing to my higher diploma. i told them i don't know. nahh, that is not the reason. i know the reason. i just don't wanna tell you. bleh.

donkee is currently driving his way back to TI. he'll be back for roughly about 6 to 7 weeks days and only then he'll return to PJ. YAYYYYYYY. we can celebrate x'mas together! wo00000tttt ;p donkeeeeee. i'm missing you already. please, please drive safely. man, he is a psycho driver. i don't know what the heck is he thinking. he sometimes make me go mad worrying about him. *sigh*

i am proud of me.

well well well, it's almost 3am now and i desperately need some sleep. but i don't know what the fuck am i doing here. something is bothering me so much.

had a blast yesterday night with my bitches in rainforest and Qbar. everyone was high, crazy and maybe, a lil drunk? i wasn't too drunk. i still was conscious. i only felt dizzy and superbly high i might just rape anyone. gulping down carl's beer, long island tea and black label in such a short period of time is hell. ask donkee, i walked as if i was flying when he came to pick me up. i couldn't even stood still. but hey, that feeling was fun.

attended the announcement of results ceremony the next morning. damn, me and donkee bloody overslept. how shitty. hrmm, i've gotten a Very Honourable Pass like what i've expected =) do i sound a lil proud here? oh well, I AM PROUD.

..but people i've expected to be proud of me doesn't feel proud at all. so why should i? they wouldn't even ask me about how well i did or how was my results. they wouldn't even wish me a simple Well Done or Congrats. instead, i get fucked up badly. and what's worse? they fucked me up not because of my results. do you think i deserve all these on my oh-so-very-wonderful-day? c'mon. i won't give two shits if my results mean nothing to them. i don't fucking need them to be proud of me. I AM PROUD OF MYSELF.

i am heating up now. i need to get some sleep. but before that, congrats to the whole of batch 17. especially for those who managed to obtain that very honourable pass with congratulations from the jury. (mahai, why the title so damn fucking long wan?)

my special shoutouts to..
donkee : your results = your efforts. congrats baby. mwahhhhhhhhh!
KC : high 5 !!! wahahaha. pa-sang-lang rocks.
rachel : ei, top student of DH17. you go, girl. and you haven't thank us for the cheers we gave you. HAHAHA.
the rest of RD students : congrats-lah. diploma holder already-lah. very proud hor?

good night everyone. ermm, wrong. good morning everyone. what-e-ver.

the nightmare is over ;)

no more lectures. no more homeworks. no more assignments. no more assessments. no more tests. no more FINAL EXAMINATION. everything is over. that marks the end of my diploma years. 2 years sounds damn long. but time flies. i can't actually still remember going to college during the 1st day of orientation where everyone seem like strangers to everyone.

i remembered...

• walking into the campus without knowing where to head to next.
• that i almost got myself lost while looking for Lecture Hall 1 =) now do i sound stoopid?
• seeing FQ, Jason and Jie walking into the hall like DAMN late and i got the shocked of my life. i thought they weren't here to study but to create chaos. i thought they were gangsters. HAHA.
• i almost mistaken my adopted brother, Keith as Ruud van Nistelrooy. HAHA.
• donkee is the smallest guy i've ever seen in my whole entire life.
• alvin lam phang chun sits right behind of me with the macha gang and they talked as if it's their grandfather's hall.
• the first person i talked to in college is Ning a.k.a auntie to us now.
• entering the tourism course and getting to know that i'll have to learn history and geography all over again.
• entering the tourism class for the first time and thought to myself, "where the hell are all the boys? how come only girls wan?"
• ...i changed my course to hospitality the very next day.
• meeting my hospitality friends the first time in the mamak stall, the place they gathered before going into the restaurant for the first ever restaurant class.
• joanne is the class representative for Term1 Group1 and she couldn't even spell my name properly to write them in the name list =)
• my first 2 friends in my whole entire group1 is KC and Ocen where i met them in the programme office. THEY CAME AND APPROACHED ME FIRST. NOTE THAT.
• after few days being in hospitality, i thought, " hehhhhh, this is my kinda course and my kinda people."
• during my 2nd or 3rd day, donkee introduced himself to me *aherm*. i remembered him saying "hello, my name is Cheah. what's your name?". he wasn't that good looking last time so i wasn't attracted to him, YET.
• during the class in the restaurant that i was talking about just now, i remember meeting a few more nice people. i remember meeting kay-poh kenneth wong. yeah, the reason being because he talks the most and he can give you the answers for all your 1002 questions.
• donkee bought me strepsils after the class because he heard me coughing a few times. how sweet =)
• he even volunteered to photostate me notes F.O.C. =)

man, if i were to still continue the story, it will never end. let's just keep the memories for my very own reference. oh before that, i remembered sista fell in love with KC during term1 !!!!!!! BWAHAHAHA. he is gonna kill me for this. but i don't care. HAHAHAAHAHA.

so..well, over is over. i'm definately sure gonna miss my friends alot for those who decided not to continue to higher diploma anymore. as for me, i've not decided yet. a certain someone should know the reason why. i'm gonna miss many people. many many of them ;(

we shall drop that topic.

yesterday, the night after my finals, me and donkee went over to FQ's place to "drown ourselves with liquor." no, actually only they did. i ain't that stewpid. i'm not too sure where i'll be heading tonight. prolly will be going to clubs or something with my bitches. but before that, will need to go over to college to certified whether did we or did we not fail our final examination. if i ever did, i'll lock myself in the room and sleep my life for a whole 3 months and there's no need to attend the graduation ceremony tomorrow morning. haha. that's what donkee taught me to do.

going over to donkee's place now. good day everyone!

leave my boy alone.

i saw her today.

she gave me a smile.

i couldn't afford to smile back.

instead, i just gave her a stare, a cold one.

and i glance away.

i couldn't even afford to utter a normal and usual Hello.

her face i despised.

her name i detested.

her body i disgusted.

her moves i loathed.

her laughters i disliked.

her voice i scorned.

everything about her i hated.

you see, i'm being kinda nice here already. i tried to bring myself to like her but i failed terribly. the thoughts of seeing things i don't wanna see drove me crazy. it makes me wanna scream. like emily rose. i fucking hate both of them for bringing me to this stage of agony. this intense struggle that precedes to almost, death. at least that's what i felt like right now. i had sleepless nights. even if i do, i have to cry myself to sleep. i have to wet my pillow to sleep. like a crying baby who doesn't get what she wanted. now tell me, did they hear me? most of all, did HE hear me? i wish. i pray. i hope. but all in all, i will thank them for letting me go through this ordeal. this painful and difficult experience. now they know my powerful endurance and my continuing existence ;) well, finally i can afford to give a smile. for the ordeal has ended. and i am the winner. i have got what is supposed to be mine.

oh by the way, do i sound really mean? being mean is good. and being mean is bitchy. but hello, i AM bitchy. tell me what can you do about it.

...we shall rephrase the word HEARTS to HEART without the letter (S) because there's only one bleeding heart which is mine.

i'm tired.

i've got a pair of swollen and red eyes.
i can't see clearly. my vision is blurry.

i've got rudolph the rednose reindeer's nose.
i can't breathe. my nose is blocked.

i'm tired of crying.

i'm tired of holding back.

i'm tired of suspecting.

i'm tired of thinking.

i'm tired of imagining.

i'm tired of everything.

i'm really tired of everything.
but i will never get tired of trusting you.

dear Y.O.U,
it doesn't matter if you're not able to touch the ceiling like how you're asked to.
the only thing that matters is that you've touched my heart. you know what i mean.

HK prac. down! 2 more to go!

i'm done with my HK practical. turn down service is not too bad. but the oral suck big time. arse.
my stress reliever is on the way backkkkkkk. woooooooooo.

come back you bitch.

my stress reliever is not around. he's having so mucho fun back there. he's such an idiot. he's almost heartlessssssssss.
i don't feel like studying. i'll be having my HK practical tomorrow. i'm gonna die.

N70 N70 N70! finally.

it has been a rather tiring day today. woke up kinda early. went for brunch with moi family, then, me + my both sis and james head to KL to get some stuffs for ourselves ;) i have finally got to buy my nokia N70! remember how i was dying for it? ha ha. daddie got it for me. lalalala. jasmine should be damn fcking happy today as well. she got her tag heuer's aquaracer watch daddie promised to buy her. weeeeee. now i can dump away my piece of old junk. weeeeee.

my current addiction besides my donkee. uhuhuhuh.

my shoutout for tonight :
I MISS RYANNNNNNNNNNNN =)

[edited at 11.52pm]

did i mention that i was out with cylee, KC and another of KC's friend to Central? yeah, we did. and we finally got to drinkkkkkk. not too much, but at least it made us feel better. man, i had sucha beautiful sleep last night. i can't wait till after finals. then we can go drink againnnnnn! oh, i am not an alcoholic. =) oh yeah, we even got some lucky draw voucher from Central yesterday. lucky number 800. our table number. heee. we can eat for F.O.C the next time we dine there. how lucky. well, i actually consider us having a quite lucky year this year you know. you see, we had this charity fair in my college not too long ago and during the lucky draw session, KC won 2 tickets for March 2006's F1 Grand Prix race. it's a GRAND STAND ticket okay. don't pray pray. then, urm, during our college's annual dinner and dance in october, cylee and i won some lucky draw prize as well. now that 3 of us are out together, we get to win stuff too. hrmmmmmmm, i think we should start buying 4D numbers-lah cylee and KC. what d'you think??

6 down! 3 to go =)

back from college. yeah, it's a saturday and i'll have to go there to sit for exams =/ how depressing. hospitality and tourism environment and communication paper or a.k.a 1000 words paper according to the RD students DOWN! professional communication presentation DOWN! damn, couldn't believe that the *goodlooking and sexy* french chief external jury actually took the initiative to "visit" me during my presentation. fuckkkkkkk. i do not even dare to look at him in the eyes. he has got a pair of really deep eyes. geez, i'll shiver.

donkee is back to TI. his mommy is sick. so, my ever so loyal friend namely loneliness will accompany me from today onwards till damn tuesday ;( i think i'll be home alone too. mom and dad is busy as they have to attend a few wedding service and dinner in my relative's. i hate going to places like that and meeting those 'woah-so-big-already-arh-you?' aunties and uncles. they bore me to death. jasmine will be going back to her in-law's james's place. my younger sister will be working in her 2nd home, nando's. HELPPPPP. anyone wanna accompany me for these few days? give me a call. i'm desperate. don't worry about not having transportation and all. U KNOW, I'M SO SWEET.I'LL BLOODY PICK YOU UP. BECAUSE I'M DESPERATE. well, i think i'll have to go look for that 'certain someone' whom i'm con.fucking.firm sure will accompany me whenever i want him to =) now i sounded bitchy. ahhh.

i'm feeling terribly bored. no one is gonna be home tonight i think. i'm a lone ranger =/ KC, cylee, virgo, vinnie and rachel!! where the heck are you people? RAINFOREST tonight? he he. i'm hungry. going out to buy myself some food. see ya.

oh ya, btw, the french guy is not sexy and goodlooking. i'm writing that for the sake of irritating KC. he hates him. haha.

***a happy belated birthday to james. u're 24. or is it 25? whatever. you.are.old.now. haha.

stuff to avoid you from falling asleep when u're getting too tired of studying. try it.

YOU ARE 22 YEARS OLD

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

22 years old? bullshit. i am ONLY 19. and. still. growing.

so, what age do you act? find out urs, here.

is it okay for me to go to bed now?

I AM FUCKING SLEEPY AND EXHAUSTED.

couldn't believe that i actually REALLY studied from about 10 at night till 6.30 this morning. YES, NO SLEEP AT ALL. NOT EVEN A 10 OR 20 MINUTES NAP. i couldn't afford to take a nap. there was just too many things which i had totally no idea on how to do or how to answer. but i'm glad that two of the toughest paper is over by now. hotel management paper was pretty much fuckup for me. i can hardly do the first few sections which involved numbers and calculation. i told ya. i'm a sooper dooper big math idiot =) accommodation tech. was alright. i managed to finish that paper 1 hour earlier. heh ;p i answered alllllll questionssss. YAY! no blanks. wooooooot!

it's a frenchie frenchie day tomorrow. i just can't imagine reading and answering questions in french right infront of the tall, fair, big, macho and *coughs*goodlooking*coughs* french guy. nah, i was just kidding. they are too old for my liking. hehehe. damn, bet i'll sound like a big fat idiot tomorrow.

oh yeah, before i go. the secret to my whole sleepless night is 3 cups of "kao" coffee. try it. it works. but never i'm gonna try it anymore. having not enough sleep or no sleep at all is fucking torturing. my brain throbs like fuck now. i want sleeeeeeeepppppp! *sigh*

au revoir.

letting go.

sometimes i just wanna let it go.

sometimes i just wanna end the whole ordeal.

sometimes i just wanna leave it for time to tell.

sometimes i just don't wanna do it.

i ain't talking about my exams. don't get me wrong.



i need booze. i wanna get wasted.

trials result is out. finals is tomorrow.

our trials result came out just yesterday. i'm not satisfied. i want an average of at least 15 and above! i won't ask for a 16. that is just plain impossible. i managed to get only a 14 point something something. urghhhhhhhhh. need to buck up on my calculations and numbers. i'm a math idiot. a big one.

the big day is tomorrow. will be sitting for that fuckup hotel management and accommodation technology paper. kill me man, kill me.

off to my books now. i'm running outta time.

[edited at 1:50pm]
best of luck for the whole DH + DT 17 peeps.

where are you, lil thang?

goddamnit. i lost my oakley shades. meaning, i lost a part of me. no-lah, exaggerating only. i lost a quarter of me =/ it's not in my bag, not in my car, not in my house, not in donkee's car, not in donkee's house, not in virgo's house, not in FQ's house. then where on earth can it be!? whoever who found it..pllllleassssssssse rettttttuuurrrrrnnnn ittttt toooooo meeeeee! iii bbbeeegggg yoooouuu.*sobs* ;(

where the fuck are you?

neglect.

one word says it all.

as the world change...

i've got zillions of thoughts now on my mind. but i just don't know where to start. i don't even know if i'm supposed to voice it out here. this world is so complicated. i really wish it was simpler so that there will be no frowns, no tears, no fights, no arguements, no suicide, nothing. the world is changing. not for the better. but for the worse. i don't know about your life. but i know mine sucked big time. it sucked in terms of everything. family, love, financial, education, friendship, everything. people see me as someone who is happy and carefree all the time. but they don't fucking know the stories behind the mask that i've put on. how sad is that?

someone close don't trust me.

someone close don't understand me.

now who else can i rely on?

myself?


no way. i might just break down and die.

we are so courageous.

me, donkee, FQ, jie, jason, erina, kenwee and edmund actually had the courage to go all the way uphill to Genting yesterday night about 9 something when we are actually having our major exam week for the whole of this week and the whole of next week. it's the trials and finalssssss peopleeee. it's a last minute plan. hrmm, it's not too weird if they had the courage to go yesterday as they do not need to sit for any papers today. the weird thing is that I still had the courage to go when i'll be having my professional communication presentation today. i only prepare them this morning for your information. that presentation is over anyway. i think i did okay =/ just O-KAY.

so yeah, jason and edmund drove. did nothing much up there. we went there to release "stress" (yea right). at least that is what jie says-lah. hehehe. 3 idiots namely FQ, jie and kenwee went to casino. 1 idiot namely edmund was busy shooting his "enemies" in the arcade. jason and erina went to we don't know where. so, me and donkee went to have our cup of drink in starbucks because it's not like we can enter that goddamn-i-made-people-commit-suicide casino and we are so not interested in arcade games. only kiddo like edmund enjoy arcade games!! how lame. after awhile, all of them came to join me and donkee. heh heh heh. we left at about 2 something in the morning. made our next stop in gohtong jaya to have another round of drinks. no, actually we were there to look for food =) after that, we head back to home and i collapsed on my bed at 4am. kekekeke. we rock baby.

stutter.

i must have listened to too much of joe featuring. mystical's stutter last time which resulted in me stuttering throughout the whole fucking 20 minutes of my professional conduct's presentation today. i bet the jury herself didn't know what on earth was i presenting about. i just threw away another 20 marks into the dirty klang river. *sigh*

i'm having a headache.
i'm feeling dizzy.
i'm bloody exhausted.
i'm desperate for some sleep.
which is merely impossible.

I REALLY NEED TO GET SOME SLEEP! but i can't. i need to study =/

i was wondering, how can someone who get to sleep soundly before exams and don't prepare much scores high marks at the end of the day? but for this, i've found the answer myself. i think they are just naturally smart. like DONKEE. on the other hand, how can someone who do not get to sleep much before exams and study like an asshole gets shitty marks? like ME. ahhhh, this world is fucking unfair. we all need some changes.

rachel sent me an sms right at the time when i was feeling goddamn frustrated while studying and preparing for my french presentation.

It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that you use to write in one exam. Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees.




(and as you scroll down, it reads...)



SAY NO TO EXAM. TAK NAK.

hehe. i don't know if it is consider funny to you. but i find it quite hilarious. this had definitely made my day.