25 November 2006

those days.

do you have those days

when you just cry for no reason
when no matter what you do, some fault is found in it
when the friends you thought you had, seem to have disappeared
when the thoughts and memories of the person you loved are so painful
when you just want to ball up and stay that way
when you just don’t feel like getting out of bed
when you don’t want to answer the phone or see anyone
when the people in your life become more of a burden than a joy
when your yesterdays, today, and tomorrows seem to all get mixed in together and nothing makes sense
when you missed your loved one who has gone away, although only for a short time
when even eating is a chore
when you want to close your blinds and just want to sleep and not make another decision
when you can’t be the way everybody wants you to be
when everybody seems to be getting on with his or her lives and you have to stop and regroup a bit
when you think of how much you’ve changed, for the best or the worse
when feeling the sunrays is a healing to your soul
when you were born into a family and wonder was the problem with them, or you
when there are days when you don’t remember things like you used to
when the nights became long and sleep seems to flee from you

do you have those days?

15 November 2006


remember the other night when you asked me why was i crying?
i said nothing.
actually i wanted to tell you that i wish the moment would never end and that you would never leave again.

"The world today is hungry not only for bread but hungry for love; hungry to be wanted, to be loved..."

09 November 2006

hoping got me nowhere.

the dateline for TIS report was yesterday.
after all the sweat and tears *sigh of relieve*
i don't feel the burden anymore. errrr well, at least for now.
i feel very much lighter and yeah, lighter ;)

trials is in less than 3 weeks.
i think i'm gonna take a few days off from all school work and shits before starting on the real revision sessions.
my brain's gonna explode.
i need a vacation. BADLY.
i need to fucking wake up.

dad might be coming back home tomorrow.
he recovered really fast. thank God.

ryan took an almost a week leave from work.
he's back in hometown now.
see, even he gets holidayyyyyyyyyyy! WTF.
i'm bored deii. cheebyeeeeee.

apart from the issues i mentioned above, everything else is still the same for me.
i am still leading one very fucked up life.
how fucked up you asked?
:) you don't wanna know.

03 November 2006

i don't feel good.

just a piece of information.

i don't like listening to happy love stories

or stories of a steady relationship.
don't tell me how good he/she treats you.
don't tell me how fucking expensive are the gifts they bought you.
don't tell me how much they've sacrificed for you.

i don't see the point of telling me craps like that.
what the fuck do you expect me to do?
jump for joy and wish you congratulations?
cry and tell you that i am happy for you?


dad's in ICU.
thank you for those who asked about my dad's condition.
he's alright.
but still, i'm upset.
and this feeling suck big time.