heal me.

i fell in love with this song and its video clip the first time i listened to it on channel [v] yesterday. from dixie chicks. nah, don't worry. it's not the same ol' usual country songs that you always get from them. something different this time.

the more i listen to it, the more i tear, really!
it's not a slow sentimental song nor a sad heartbreak song.
this song is..a fast song.
but,

deep with meanings....
well, at least for me.

enjoy.

DIXIE CHICKS
NOT READY TO MAKE NICE

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

ah, damn cannot accept. damn cannot forget. damn cannot take it.
cannot.
cannot.
cannot.

BigBigBrother.

wishing my BigBigBrother Jie

a very berry

HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY!

i'm addicted.

they told me,
when you are feeling sad and down, get yourself to do something you enjoy.

sing your favourite song out loud.
eat a whole bar of chocolate.
take a hot bath.
get crazy with your friends.
sip on your favourite alcohol.
party hard.
lock yourself in the room and have a good cry.
indulge in a good book.
drive to a mall for a big shopping spree.
pamper yourself with a facial or body massage.
watch your favourite movie over and over again.
ring a good friend for a chat.
go out and meet some new and interesting people.

13 checks for all mentioned above.
been there, done that.
i still feel like shit.
i am no better.

maybe, i know my cure.
i need my drug, my addiction.
my drug are my completion.
my drug fills me with the feeling of fulfillment.
my drug consumes me.
my drug frees my soul.
my drug protects me with its entire being.

you know you are the drug.

freak.

happy birthday to my bitch. thanks a bunch for the dinner yesterday night. i hope you had a great time. weeeeee. we're gonna hit the club tonight!
NOTE: picture was taken on march 26 this year in PD during our BBQ session. bwaaaaahaha. BBQ session. bwahahaha. i wanna laugh.

i was dead bored so i went hunting for shoes. my motive was to get ONE pair ONLY. i ended up with 3 pairs. i saw another pair after i paid for my shoes. ugh. but i know i need to stay away from the evil lights. so i stomped outta that store. bloodyshit. i'm so weak. so so weak *sobs* :(

but i like arh.

crushed.

something for my readers to ponder on.
you better not enjoy reading this.
if you did enjoyed it, i can confuckingfirm your love life's in deep shit.

You just can't make someone fall in love with you. You know, you just can't make them. It's just gotta happen.

You never know what you have lost till you are standing in a room with that person not being able to call them yours.

Sometimes it's better to be alone. No one can hurt you that way.

Sometimes no matter how long or hard you've loved someone, they'll never love you back. And sometimes you have to be okay with that.

When you finally realize you don't matter at all to someone, you begin to wonder if you matter to anyone.

Nothing hurts more than giving your all to someone that gives you NOTHING.

A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out that it wasn't meant to be and you just have to let go.

The hardest thing in the world is spending everyday next to someone you know you’ll never be close to.

It's bad to lose the towel when your eyes are full of soap, but it's worse to lose the one you love when your heart is full of hope.

I now know that the worst feeling in the world is not losing the one that you love, but loving the one that you could never have.

The worst feeling in the world is to love and hate a person all in the same second.

Waking up is hard to do when no one loves you.

I hate how you can be in the same room with someone and not even be able to talk to them.

oh so you actually finished reading the whole thing?
mann, i can feel you. good luck.

all i could do was to grant you the freedom to fly high and pray that you know the way back. to me.

birthday celebration vol.2

enough of pictures.
too lazy.
too emo.
bye.

birthday celebration vol.1

uhhh. i love the dark strokes effect. ahaksss.

more pictures in the next post. i'm lazy already.

big two zero.

i was officially 20 yesterday =)

had a blast. all thanks to my bunch of oh-so-loving-and-nice friends.
especially cylee, KC and virgo. i know you guys accompanied me from thursday night itself till the night of my birthday. a BIG BIG thank you to the 3 of you. so touched *mwah*

well of course, not forgetting my ryan. he baked a cake for me. he claimed 1 day of his annual leave for me :) he drove me to wherever i wanna go from day till night. he settled most of my bills. laa dee dah. a BIGGER thank you to you, ling. super touched *double mwah*

to the rest of you who took the initiative to wish me either face to face, phone, sms, email, instant messages, snail mail, testimonials et cetera, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH.

special thanks to: the "present donaters", you guys know who you are. yvonne, for the long distance call. may yen, for the birthday card all the way from aussie.

MANNNNN. i sounded like some celebrity giving a thank you speech after winning the grammy award. I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MY DIRECTOR AND PRODUCER...THE RECORD COMPANY..MY MAKEUP ARTIST...blahh.

=)

back to topic. many thought i would prolly go drown myself with alcohol or maybe party till i die. wrong assumptions. no crazy celebration this year. unlike the previous years. i think i'm getting old and boring already. one of the reason maybe because erm, i started partying too early/too much at a young age. i get tired of things really fast if you don't know me. *sigh* i now treasure quiet time with my friends and loved ones. see how people can change.

ah. wtf. why me so emo.

the celebration started with us having a small drinking session in virgo's place the night before my birthday. they kononlah wanna do countdown for me. i bought a bottle of malibu and a bottle of baileys. see, no hard liquor involved :) MALIBU, CALV. MALIBUUUU :P ryan brought the cake that he made at his workplace after his work. my cake came all the way from Cilantro Restaurant and WineBar wei. how impressive :) finished countdown-ing, we went back to sleep.

i also had the whole class and the lecturer to sing a birthday song for me. all thanks to ms. anna -_-" it's...embarrassing, really. we headed to Galaxy KTV @ SS15 after class and had a good 6 hours karaoke session. yes, 6 hours. championnnn. my big brother Jie tagged along this time right after his exam. how schweettt. *fuck, i don't know how to baby talk*

had seafood dinner in SS24. vinnie and chereene came all the way from Kajang. rachel took "MC", escaped from her part-time job and came all the way from Serdang. thank you babes.

i had a great time really although nothing extraordinary. once again, thank you people.

happy birthday to myself.

pictures will be up soon.

TYL. TYW. TYC.

....that's our initials.
how cool :P
anyway,

big mistake.

was browsing through my sister's outdated Seventeen magazine (July 2006) a couple of minutes ago.

i saw this picture and i went...


i stared at it for a lil while more.

hrm..something's wrong somewhere. but where?

2 seconds later i spotted something.

macauhai.

i know lah this is one girlie girlie mag. but that doesn't mean that errors like these can be made okay.

you imagine a bunch of kawaii-ne girls who know nuts about football flipping through the mag and spotted that "so-called wayne rooney" picture.

"wahh why this guy so cute and hensem de?!"
"where where? which one?"
"there! this one lohh!"
"wahh! yah hor. very hensem oh!"
"ok lah. we are officially wayne rooney's fan from tolay lah ok!"

one weekend, the bunch of girls went to some nearby mamak stalls to have a drink. such co-incidence the mamak stall's television was airing astro's channel 80. got manchester united's live match eh!

the girls spotted the so-called wayne rooney kicking the ball and.....GOALLL!

"wahh wayne rooney is sooooooo good! summore so hensem! GO ROONEY GO ROONEY!"

everyone from the surrounding tables heard them.
they'd prolly go "gosh, this bunch of dumbfucks."
no, i mean I WOULD.

-__-"

damn memalukan right? and quite pitiful also you know to be labelled as a bunch of dumbfucks.

*sigh*

dear Ms. Editor/Writer of the Seventeen mag.
THIS is wayne rooney, asshole.


p/s: i know the world cup fever's over. but i'm a football freak. so cannot help it. sensitive issue man.

calling out.

i will let the world know that you are my only one.
although you would never admit that i was your only one.
-
i am sorry.
thousands of apologies.
i was a disgrace to you.
-
rest assured.
that.
i will be fine.
-
i only need some time.
no.
i need someone.
someone to guide me.
someone like you.
-
i need a shoulder to cry on.
i need a hand to hold.
i need you to tell me 'everything's gonna be alright baby'
-
but
where the fuck are you?

frail.

you've never once tried putting yourself in my goddamn fucking shoe.
i wonder if you how it feels like.
don't challenge my guts.
they are inhumane.

fuck.

i'm craving for malibu.