goodbye.

it's hard when-
you realised that things ain't the same like before.
you knew he wouldn't enjoy doing the good ol' things anymore.
you understand the fact that you will not have the chance to do it ever again.
you tried so hard to work things out but to no avail.
you had to put a smile on your face even if you don't feel like it.
you knew you won't be able to turn back the time.
you are using crying as a lullabye instead of a song.
you no longer fit at that position no more.
you are doing things for the sake of doing it.
you had to rewind and erase every single moment in your mind.
you forced yourself to get rid of the memories, just to make your day better.
you looked at old pictures and gave a loud sigh instead of a huge smile.
you turned to your left, and then to your right but don't see no one.
you go to bed at night and he appears as the last thing on your mind.
you thought you had been replaced with something, or someone else.
you look back and kept repeating to yourself, "how i wish..".
you yearned for the clock to stop ticking when he holds you because you don't have an idea when will the next time be.
you knew that this is not the kind of life you've always wanted. at least not the one you used to lead.
you are accidently reminded of the things you used to do, or say.
you don't see the sparks anymore.
you started envying the others.
you are no longer looking forward to the beautiful weekends.
you saw two souls holding hands, doing or going wherever they want.
you strengthen your faith and guts but in the end you just let loose.
you realised that holding hands is becoming something so rare.
it's double the hard when-
you tried to utter the words "goodbye" but the words just won't come out.