you wouldn't wanna read this. trust me.

i'm falling even more in love with you. i don't wanna be a fool in your eyes. i keep your photograph and i know it serves me well. in my head i keep on looking back right back to the start wondering what it was that made you change. i promise i'm not trying to make your life harder. nobody's there when i call your name. swept away by you and now i feel like a fool. i don't wanna fight no more, i don't know what we're fighting for. have you ever had someone steal your heart away you'd give anything up to make them feel the same? i could drown if i stay here. i want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing. why couldn't you just see through me? i'm running and not quite sure where to go. i wish that i could take it all away. is it me who can take you higher than you're dreaming of? i wish i could tell you i'm feeling better every day that it didn't hurt me when you walked away. every time the phone rings, do you wish it was me calling you? i swallowed my pride the day you arrived. i'm standing until you make me move. i carry a smile when i'm broken in two and i'm nobody without someone like you. i surrender just to hear your voice. like a clown i put on a show. i'm screamin' at night if i thought you'd hear me. you were the one thing that i tried to hold on to. i lay my head back down, and i lift my hands and pray to be only yours. how can i be smiling like before? i lie down and blind myself with laughter. lock the doors and we'll leave the world outside.

solitude.

blind
i would see you.
deaf
I would hear you.
mute
i would speak to you.
dead
i would find you.

so darn hot i wanna strip.

"wanna go for a drink? i fetch you."
"cannot-la. going out."
"go where?"
"find boyfriend."
"crazy. what time d? 10.30pm you know."
"yeah i know. so?"
"he's staying in PJ right? so far la. ask him to find you!"
"duwan la. by the time he drive down from KL after work what time d?"
"cheh. you find him for what?"
"to accompany me eat supper. hehe."
"i accompany you la."
"no need. thank you."
"fine! oh i know. you desperate for fuck is it?"
"erm, yeah actually, so desperate i feel like fucking you up right now."
"...........mahai."
" :) "

xxx

i'm living a rather monotonous life these days. i wake up. i go to class. i disturb KC. i eat. i disturb cylee. i attend class. i disturb virgo. i go home. i watch tv. i eat again. i play computer. i sleep.

eh, how cool. nothing about revising or doing homework is involved. i'm sucha good student :)

the weather is sizzling i feel like i wanna faint.

we had a small test on French in class today. i scored 7 out of 22.
bwahahaha. disgrace i know.
how mannnnn! how the fuck can i pass my French in the finals!
je ne sais pas le français!
je veux pleurer! :(

i'm feeling darn bored now. i've got my IT and TIS report to do. but i don't feel like doing. i'm so fucking lazy.

i know you're gonna bored ur arse off if i continue writing. i'm stopping already. no worries. and please forgive me, i need to rant.

to you i belong.

stop
don't breathe another lie
don't speak
sit back and watch love die.

listen
to screaming voices
they tell consequences
for your bad choices.

observe
the life you've chosen
if only you thought
if only time was frozen.

replay
the scene inside your head
what once felt alive
soon becomes dead.

rewind
reflect on the past
search for more reasons
why we couldn't last.

hesistate
let the one you love wait
crush every hope
embrace the approaching fate.

devastate
abuse the power you hold
leave me high & cry
in the blistering cold.

destroy
ruin every dream shared
till whatever is left
cannot be repaired.

weep
eyes swell with tears
we come face to face
with our darkest fears.

run
there's nowhere to hide
you can no longer conceal
what's hidden inside.

sleep
escape from the pain
but when we're awake
scars will remain.

goodbye
i'm letting you go
when there's many answers
i still need to know.

retarded.

...is the only word that i can think of to describe

your bunch of motherfucking brainless dickhead friends.

how pitiful :(

i wish.

i wish you would get out of my head.

i wish that i could get some sleep.

i wish you had cared enough.

i wish you knew everything i said was true.

i wish that you could feel the pain inside of me.

i wish these were your words and not mine.

i wish you knew how much you meant to me.

i wish for my sanity.

bid goodbye to worldcup 2006.

italy vs. france.
last match for the Germany Worldcup 2006.
i'm darn sad.
no football = sad julie :(

but EPL will be back soon! bwahahha.

pray for Italy to win people.
this message goes out to you too, Jeremy.
:D

FORZA ITALIA!
FORZA ITALIA!
FORZA ITALIA!
FORZA ITALIA!

raze.

i don't know what kinda luck am i having. bad luck i supposed. i think i need to receive at least one summon per month, or else my month would not complete. damn.

3 summons = 250 ringgit :( :( :( :(
but i paid only 70 ringgit :D :D :D :D

suey-ness.


here are the pictures i promised to post. there are more, but i'm just too tired..and lazy.
forgive me, i've been sleeping for less than 5 hours a day. so energy-less.

d'you like sleeping alone? i don't.

i'm back to college now. today. how shittie. going into the same ol' classes. studying the same ol' subjects. being taught by the same ol' lecturers. facing the same ol' boring students. eating the same ol' food. ahh. i need a bloody life. hrm, perhaps i'm getting sick of the schooling life already. i wanna move on to something new..and interesting.

i finally got to meet up with vicca on last saturday night. she's back to malaysia for a holiday :) ahh, missed hanging out with this bytch.


i don't know how the heck did brazil lost to france. i'm sad. damn bloody sad. until today. i couldn't even utter a single word when the match ended =| were you sleeping, ronaldinho!? DAMN. i wouldn't mind if england don't get into the finals. i've never expect them to get in anyway. but..brazil.....*loud sigh*

ryan drove me, shiena and tammy to bukit tinggi, pahang on sunday morning. we booked a 2 bedrooms apartment for a night and we came home this afternoon. yeah, and i missed my first class on the first day of school. how nice :) purposely one-lah can or not?

it was my first time going to bukit tinggi. same goes to ryan. the scenery was not too bad and the weather was alright. but the place's a lil boring with no entertainment. well, very limited number of things to do i would say. the French Village and most of the parks would be closed by late evening leaving you with nothing to do at night. no wonder some people told me not to stay overnight :| now i know why.

my personal chef cooked us dinner at night. reason because they don't have many varieties of food available for us to choose. and the food over there is way too expensive. heh. renting an apartment with the kitchenette is indeed an added advantage :P after dinner, they played chinese mahjong. tammy brought the mini mahjong set along. so cute. but i don't bloody know how to play. i got bored, i made some noise, i grumbled abit and ryan drove us up to genting highlands. approximately 30-40 minutes drive depending on your driving speed.

we went back to our apartment midnight and the 3 stooges continued with their mahjong session *sigh* they officially surrendered themselves to the bed at 3:00am. HOORAYY!

pssst. pictures will be posted up soon.