Take away love, and our earth is a tomb.

new year?

2010-01-04T23:46:00.002+08:00

nothing's new.
hello everyone (that's if there's still someone). i've been on hiatus for 3 months. hahahaha.
i'm not exactly back yet. but was thinking i should write something.
hrmm.
life has been a drama for me. i mean year 2009.
trust me it's more dramatic than gossip girl or the gem of life.
hrmm i don't know what to say anymore.
it's year 2010. i have no new years resolution, no new target, no new aim.
everything shall remain the same.
huhuhuhu.
so yeah, you all have a good year ahead. loves.
:)

2009-10-05T22:45:00.003+08:00

The bitch is back. With still, absolutely nothing to write.
Goodbye.

Why is everything and everyone so fucked up?

2009-09-05T18:53:00.001+08:00

..And she died.

Destiny.

2009-07-28T00:32:00.001+08:00

Destiny, destiny, destiny.
DESTINY.

Just have a little patience.

2009-06-22T21:44:00.000+08:00

Fuck life. Seriously.

Emo chinese songs ;)

2009-06-22T00:00:00.002+08:00

Let's cry together.

All good things come to an end.

2009-06-10T01:14:00.002+08:00

You've been a great friend, Mr.Pill.
Thank you for being there during the sleepless nights.
I LOVE YOUUU.

sigh

2009-06-08T00:48:00.002+08:00

Desperately wants to buy a new phone.
But too broke.
My life is so sad.
*Bangs head*

Pumped.

2009-06-04T21:44:00.002+08:00

I see a little colours :)
Move on, move on.

Oh btw, I have a new found interest.
Yoga and pilates!
YAY :D

Hello world.

2009-05-25T23:58:00.002+08:00

Julie Teh needs to be revamped.
She has lost her values.

Journal.

2009-05-21T23:58:00.001+08:00

So boreddddddddddddddddddd.
And lifeless.
*brush away spiderwebs*

Balitongs.

2009-05-05T22:00:00.003+08:00

This post is specially dedicated to the Balitongs.
It was great seeing all of you again :)
Really.

And btw, I am not fat. I just put on a tad bit of weight!
I don't have an elephant thigh!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Happy Birthday my Summ-Chi. I love you Nene.

2009-04-02T23:24:00.003+08:00

Still trying hard. Maybe it was not meant to be.
I am very tired.

Sigh.

Stress stress stress. So little time. So little time.
I can't breathe. I need a break.

Where is my pillar of strength?

All by myself.

2009-03-14T23:48:00.001+08:00

Another boring Saturday. Someone needs to stop the rain. It's driving me nuts.
Gosh. I've never felt so aimless, helpless and hopeless.
Please, speak to me. Anyone.
These 4 blanks walls are driving me nuts too.

Good night.

Jason Mraz. Details in the Fabric.

2009-01-18T22:01:00.002+08:00

Video-less. Listen, just listen to this beautiful tune.

Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling all your threads and
Breaking yourself up

If it's a broken part, replace it
But, if it's a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it

And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your own name
And go your own way

And everything will be fine

Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything

Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything, everything will be fine
Everything

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything

Hold your own
Know your name
Go your own way

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own)
Are the things that make you panic (Know your name)
Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way)

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own)
Are the things that make you panic (Know your name)
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine? (Go your own way)

Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own)
Hell no reason go on and scream (Know your name)
If you’re shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)
Of faulty manufacturing

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold

You only live once.

2008-12-20T16:51:00.002+08:00

You only live once, so live it with passion and desire. Learn new ways of doing old recipes, learn new cultures, don't let your mind get too set.

Eat the things you love the most, drink what you like the best, sleep when you need peace, dance when you want to feel alive. It makes your heart beats faster so that you can thrive.

Listen to the music that enchants you and take you to another place. Love to the depth of your soul, feel it with all your heart, and never let it from you part.

Let others love you too, if what they feel for you is true. Feel free to be you, to speak kindness, be caring and forgiving of yourself and of others. We only have one chance at this living thing.

Miss no opportunities of meeting someone special in our lives even if it might means a heartache or two along the way. All loves in our lives are worth having and they always happen for a reason.

Always take that chance, it is always worth no matter what, and the outcome, only heaven really ever knows.

Keith Urban - Tonight I Wanna Cry

2008-11-25T22:24:00.001+08:00

Alone in this house again tonight
I've got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walking away

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I've thought that being' strong meant never losing your self control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To Hell with my pride let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if i turned the sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hiding this way

Cause I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I've thought that being strong meant never losing your self control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To Hell with my pride let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Sky high 0630-0811

2008-11-09T11:03:00.003+08:00

like, oiiiiiiiiiiiiii. what the fuck am i doing?

Like we never loved at all.

2008-11-05T21:49:00.002+08:00

I need a chill pill.
Seriously.
I can feel my heart racing.
I can feel my heart pumping.
Fast, and loud.

No, I need sleeping pills.

Tiada Lagi

2008-11-03T21:58:00.004+08:00

Sia sia sudah
Kita jalin cinta
Bila hati selalu berbeda

Sampai kapan lagi
Aku harus menahan
Rasa kecewa di dalam dada

Seandainya kita masih bersatu
Tak mungkinkan menyatu
Walau masih ada sisa cinta
Biarkan saja berakhir sampai
Di sini

Tiada lagi yang ku harapkan
Tiada lagi yang ku impikan
Biar aku sendiri tanpa diri mu
Tiada lagi kata cintamu
Takkan lagi ku bersama mu
Biar ku simpan semua
Kenangan ku bersamamu

Love remains the same.

2008-11-01T20:42:00.002+08:00

A thousand times I've seen you standing
Gravity like a lunar landing
You make me want to run till I find you
I shut the world away from here
I drift to you, you're all I hear
As everything we know fades to black

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending

I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same

I find a place where we escape
Take you with me for the space
The city buzz sounds just like a fridge
I walk the streets through seven bars
I have to find just where you are
The faces seem to blur
They're all the same

So much more to say
So much to be done
Don't you trick me out
We shall overcome
It's all left still to play

We - should have the sun
Could have been inside
Instead we're over here

I, oh I,
I wish this could last forever
I, oh I,
As if we could last forever

Love remains the same
Love remains the same

----
35 more days.

Pills.

2008-10-28T20:26:00.001+08:00

i hope my smile
can distract you
i hope my fists
can fight for two
so it never has to show
and you’ll never know

i hope my love
can blind you
i hope my arms
can bind you
so you’ll never have to see
what we’ve grown to be

one may think
we’re alright
but we need pills
to sleep at night
we need lies
to make it through the day
we’re not ok

one may think
we’re doing fine
but if i had to lay it on the line
we’re losing ground
with every passing day
we’re not ok

but that’s one thing
i would never
one thing i would never
that’s one thing
i would never say to you

The girl who can't be moved.

2008-10-27T15:32:00.002+08:00

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

---

liar.
40 more days.

I hung up the phone tonight, something happened for the first time deep inside, it was a rush, what a rush.

2008-10-25T21:27:00.004+08:00

every time i think of you
i get a shot right through into a bolt of blue
it's no problem of mine but it's a problem i find
living a life that i can't leave behind
there's no sense in telling me
the wisdom of a fool won't set you free
but that's the way that it goes
and it's what nobody knows
and every day my confusion grows
every time i see you falling
i get down on my knees and pray
i'm waiting for that final moment
you'll say the words that i cant say

i feel fine and i feel good
i feel like i never should
whenever i get this way, i just don't know what to say
why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
i'm not sure what this could mean
i don't think you're what you seem
i do admit to myself
that if i hurt someone else
then we'd never see just what were meant to be
every time i see you falling
i get down on my knees and pray
i'm waiting for that final moment
you'll say the words that i can't say

---------

why do i keep running from the truth?
all i ever think about is you
you got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
and i've just got to know

do you ever think when you're all alone
all that we can be, where this thing can go?
am i crazy or falling in love?
is it real or just another crush?

do you catch a breath when i look at you?
are you holding back like the way i do?
'cause i'm trying and trying to walk away
but i know this crush ain't goin' away
goin' away

2008-10-23T22:12:00.002+08:00

Thank you Stacy, Asrar, Janice, Voon Tze and Vivien.
I owe you guys.

And Shanny.

Crush Crushed.

2008-10-20T23:19:00.000+08:00

someone please get me a spade.
i wanna dig out some shits off my brain.
help.
i can't breathe.

One thousand four hundred and sixty days of love.

2008-10-08T16:08:00.002+08:00

You're like a rock,
Standing strong, holding me up.
Especially for the past few years of my life.
Thank you for everything, and being my everything.
Happy 4th Anniversary.
Je t'aime, ma drogue.

Connected.

2008-09-29T22:53:00.003+08:00

♫ J: is very sexual

♫ U: is loved by everyone
♫ L: very good kisser
♫ I: is really sweet
♫ E: has gorgeous eyes

♫ T: smile to die for
♫ E: has gorgeous eyes
♫ H: stick to one
.............................

♫ A: hot

♫ B: loves people and sex

♫ C: good kisser

♫ D: can kick ur butt

♫ E: has gorgeous eyes

♫ F: loves people wild and crazy

♫ G: very outgoing

♫ H: stick to one

♫ I: is really sweet

♫ J: is very sexual

♫ K: crazy

♫ L: very good kisser

♫ M: Makes dating fun

♫ N: loves to laugh and smile

♫ O: has one of the best personalities ever

♫ P: popular with all types of people

♫ Q: a hypocrite

♫ R: funny

♫ S: makes people laugh

♫ T: smile to die for

♫ U: is loved by everyone

♫ W: very broad minded

♫ X: never let people tell you what to do

♫ Y: is loved by everyone

♫ Z: can be funny and dumb at times

aiyo, how come so true? whaahahhaa.
just being lame lah wtf.
so serious for what?
grrrrrr.

Of Coffeebean, 9:40PM and Louis Koo.

2008-09-27T10:56:00.002+08:00

Someone please slap me awake.
It's driving me insane.
Torturous, very torturous.

Comment est-ce que je peux faire ceci ?

Hearts.

2008-09-24T17:28:00.001+08:00

No, I am not your sister.
I am not I am not I am not.
NO, I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING SISTER.

715.

2008-09-23T20:38:00.006+08:00

You're there
I'm gone.
I'm here
You're gone.
How long does this fucking shit have to go on?

Today is a Happy Day.
Yeah. Happy Day.

2008-09-18T14:36:00.000+08:00

happy birthday, love.

wake up bitch.

2008-09-12T11:17:00.004+08:00

OH NO IT'S COMING BACK. IT'S BACK.
NOOOOOO.
someone, get me out of this.
please.

berpindah-pindah wtf

2008-08-25T15:46:00.002+08:00

new house? i like!
new office? i like!
shifting 2 places at the same time? i don't like =/

i am so tired mehhhhhhh ;(

Leave Out All The Rest

2008-08-14T10:34:00.002+08:00

I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you

22 now.

2008-08-12T08:56:00.003+08:00

mummy. daddy. joyce. jasmine. ryan. ruby. ahlai. hunter. auntie jessie. yiwei. mayyen. yacheng. damson. meimei. vinnie. jo teh. joan. ivan. hueiting. tammy. stacy. mayyee. unklejonn. alvin. beeyin. natalie. jesslyn. rachel. asrar. michelleM. virgo. juvan. justyn. wayne. hawa. may. janice. voontze. agatha. joanneQ. cathy. yumin. chengyee. andrew. kuotuan. hueyyee. weiloon. waikit. angel. miss anna. michelleT. pekyee. andy. shieming. sueann. micheleQ. mingchoi. jerry. julio. evelynn.

a big thank you to the above peeps for the birthday wishes. appreciate.

wishlist 118.

2008-08-07T09:48:00.005+08:00

a burberry long wallet
new pair of oakley to replace my old one
audio system for my darling ride
o.z wheels for my darling ride
a new tattoo
some cash
more tattoos

=) =) =)

Chelsea Chelsea!

2008-07-30T17:05:00.002+08:00

I got to watch Chelsea live in the Shah Alam Stadium yesterday all thanks to Hunter for giving me a pair of complimentary Grand Stand tickets. THANKEWS! :) FOOTBALL IS SO SYIOK OK! How come so many people think its boring aye? :(

the dark knight.

2008-07-23T16:11:00.004+08:00

HEATH LEDGER IS SO AMAZING OMG

Can't believe I actually fell in in love with The Joker despite the fact that he is so violent, creepy and psychotic at the same time. That movie is so freaking good I don't know how to explain. But hiahhh, we won't be able to see him play The Joker in any upcoming Batman series anymore lah :( :( :( MUST GO WATCH THE DARK KNIGHT OKAY! Aihhhhh, my love, why must you die?

Once again, R.I.P Heath Ledger.

EDIT.
OH YA. The Joker is damn 7 funny. I mean all his indirect jokes lah. And it's damn bodoh that I was the only one laughing lor besides Ryan. The rest of the people in the cinema? Chiiews, no sense of humour at all. Boo.

Dr. Feelgood.

2008-07-12T14:35:00.003+08:00

Woah, I did not sign in here for at least 3 days leh! Never even view it lah although I'm on the computer at least 8 hours a day omfg. Tiu lor. I totally forgot about my blog. I think I wanna close it down. Or maybe move to somewhere where nobody knows so I can write whatever fucks I want. Then I won't get fake people to come and ask me what's going on blahblahblahblah. And whether do I need help and they can share their opinions. Then you thought "Wah, my friends are willing to listen to me! Ok, these are my true friends yay yay yay." So you told them everything lor. That's when they will tell you "Ooohh, I see I see. Now I know..Eh, got to run now. Catch up with you later!" After a month they still haven't come back to you with their piece of advice, but hor, 50 of your friends already knew about your problems leh. Hiahh. Maybe I will move to WordPress because I can put a password to my post. Correct me if I'm wrong. You know, I am feeling so damn 7 depressed and pissed now. My friends owed me money and don't wanna pay back lah cauhai. They told me they are very broke and dare not ask for anymore pocket money from their parents. Broke? Hmmm. They can drink 4 times of Coffee Bean a day. I can only afford to drink Nescafe 3 in 1 from my office's pantry. Sometimes Janice's Oldtown White Coffee. Heh. They can wear designer brand slippers when I am only wearing a MYR50 Paul Frank thong slipper. You see the differences? I have not been to the States or Europe, but they're traveling all around the world. They can club/bar hop all around Golden Triangle on weekends. I sit at home and sip on dearest JD Gold Label bought during my recent trip to Langkawi Island. It's Duty Free. And when I refused to club hop with them they call me an anti-social bitch. Eh, damn wtf ok. Aihh. But to be honest, I prefer to just sit at home and stare cock at my boyfriend lah. Not because I am too broke to go out. It's because I am too lazy to layan my friends. Everyone's so fake. I hate to put on that clown face. That mask. I hate pleasing people. And I don't need anyone to fucking please me.

I have got alot more shits to rant but it's so susah because I cannot mention names. I think I really need to move to WordPress.

2008-06-26T15:37:00.002+08:00

need me.
or leave me.
give me love.
show me love.
believe in me.

but, never deceive me.

2008-06-17T12:15:00.002+08:00

sorry, no energy to update.
been having sleepless nights all thanks to euro 2008.
also,
i'm down with a fever, flu and cough for a week now.
:(

how la how la.
my brain is clogged with gallons of phlegm and mucus.

2008-06-06T09:12:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wish something bad happens to me.
So I can count how many people actually cared.

Delirium.

2008-05-30T10:48:00.005+08:00

I tried calling that lady *points below* 4 times but she doesn't wanna pick up my phone. I sms-ed her asking which "restaurant" is that in Pavilion but she didn't wanna tell me. She replied "send me yur resume"

-_-"

Somebody, anybody, tell me what Happiness is.
This little girl is confused.

[EDIT]
P/S: Please note that I have no intention at all to work in that restaurant. I was just calling for fun to see what she has to say lah ;P

yao lan or mou lan?

2008-05-27T10:08:00.002+08:00

From the Friendster bulletin.

"----------------------------------

Original message from shernny I:

> PRETY & TALL GALS: Permanent job in a high class restaurant@pavilion

> Presentable.Good in english.friendly.

> Job scope:ushering.welComing guests.SIMPLE JOB.

> BASIC SALARY RM3000++/month

> Food&uniform is provided. dun hv to do Waitresing job

> Interested Call me now for more details

> 012 6900353 shernny

> Send ur profile to

> shernny22@gmail.com

> title: Permanent job@Pavilion

> U hv any galfrens interested?TQ

> plz help me 2 fwd..."

No shit. By doing only ushering jobs can get you RM3000++ a month.
I don't believe. I am so gonna call this lady up.

2008-05-24T15:22:00.003+08:00

I HAVE GOT SO MANY THINGS TO RANT AND COMPLAIN ABOUT BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START. AND I CAN'T TELL NOBODY. LIFE IS SO DAMN 7 FUCKING UNFAIR.

go bang your head on the wall lah.
and may you rest in fucking peace.

it's a public holiday hehehehe.

2008-05-19T14:08:00.002+08:00

nothing seems to appear interesting to me anymore lah.
i need to find some new excitement.
hrmmm.

secret scars.

2008-05-15T15:42:00.004+08:00

i was just browsing through my old posts and caught myself laughing at some of the craps i wrote. i realized i can't write like last time anymore.

"Cash rules everything around me, Singin' dollar dollar bill y'all"

2008-05-14T11:54:00.002+08:00

..Because she don't have a fucking choice.

2008-05-12T11:28:00.003+08:00

Port Dickson folks irked by youths' out of control behaviour at rave event.
*click*

"Port Dickson assemblyman M Ravi said a recent wild party at the seaside was a real shocker to him and the community here. He said that such parties did more damage to the young than promote tourism."
Jakuns.

"Ravi said each individual was charged RM113 to enter the area of the event that was a held at a resort along Jalan Pantai. He said many foreigners were also present at the event."
Wrong information. Not ALL individuals paid RM113, asshole.

“Some of the teenagers are university students. Techno music was blasting in the air despite it being wee hours in the morning. Most of them looked sedated and were mumbling and I could tell that they were not in full grasp of their senses,” said Ravi.
Those are not techno, stupid. Not in full grasp of their senses? HAHAHAHAHHA.

"One party goer when met said two stages were erected in an open area where youths were dancing into the wee hours of the morning. She said it also made little sense to see some female teenagers wearing swimsuits and other skimpy clothing although it was 4am. “When I asked them if their parents knew if they were here, they shied away. Most of them are from Kuala Lumpur,” she said."
What is wrong with wearing skimpy clothes at 4am? What about wearing them at 9am then? Appropriate, no? Who is she to ask the teenagers whether or not their parents knew they were there? And why suddenly must mention from Kuala Lumpur lah? Indirectly saying KLites damn bad lor, is it?

Kampong people *sigh*

shit happens.

2008-05-02T17:03:00.002+08:00

why do some people feel the need to impress everyone?
insecurities?
no? then what?

it hurts.

le sigh.

2008-04-26T13:23:00.005+08:00

took a few hours to think about what to blog and still did not manage to figure out a single shit. i don't really know what's going on in my head for the past half a year but no worries, life's good. certain things are still quite new to me though ;) so yeah, tell me what to blog because i haven't been doing anything interesting lately. HAHA. *screams* IIIIII feeeeeel likeeee a heeeero and you are my heeeeeeeroinee, Do youuu know that your love is the sweeeeeteeeeeeestttt sin? oh ya, here's one picture to remind you guys of how i look like. just in case you all forgot already ;)

much love.

next life.

2008-04-09T16:10:00.001+08:00

some men see things as they are and ask why.
i dream of things that never were and ask why not.

the sound of silence.

2008-03-18T18:50:00.002+08:00

Shhhh, let it be.

2008-02-28T02:27:00.000+08:00

i am still very much alive.
thank you.

2008-02-01T13:09:00.000+08:00

HUAHAHAHHAHAHA.
my funky funky red hair is back for the 2nd time now!
i laikeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. *kiss*
wahahahaha.
you don't laike?
i don't care.

2008-01-30T03:56:00.000+08:00

ling,
it's 3.56am.
i brought chouchou along
but i still can't sleep.

i miss you.

2008-01-24T18:23:00.001+08:00

R.I.P my darling Heath Ledger.

rain rain go away come again another day.

2008-01-14T15:08:00.000+08:00

fuck. i heard the thunder.
..seriously.
why does it have to rain today?!
rain tomorrow can?

i'm on the 15th floor and i don't have a bloody window in my room.
i mean, i'm supposed to have 3 pieces of windows.
you know, the kinds where you have to unbuckle/unlock it so that you can push them out?
one of the three pieces flew off yesterday evening due to the heavy rain and strong wind.
yes, all the way down from the 15th floor to the ground floor.
killing 1 people and damaging 3 cars.
aight, don't give me that expression.
it's not even my fault.
it's the weather!

i couldn't sleep yesterday night.
ryan and i watched the window fell.
and yet we could not do anything.
but who is it to blame?
sigh.

anyway,
PLEASE DON'T RAIN TODAY LAH! SOMEONE WILL COME FIX MY NEW WINDOW TOMORROW. RAIN TOMORROW PLEASEEEEEEEEE. PRETTY PRETTY PLEASEEEE.

spot the difference? left side got window and right side no window lor :(

no lah. actually, the window did not kill anybody, hurt anyone or damage anything.

2008-01-08T21:17:00.000+08:00

i foresee someone will go insane pretty soon. i've been stucked in this room for a good two days. my only companion is the PC, my super loyal king size bed, maggi instant noodle and of course, cigarettes. even ciggie seems tasteless already. two hours ago, i took a hot shower and was about to get dressed up and drive down to oneU for some shopping (no, i don't see nothing wrong with going shopping alone bitch). i pulled open the curtains. the traffic congestion along LDP highway was massive. goddamnit, it's after office hour sohai, i told myself. hrm, i'll give myself another thirty minutes. if the jam still continues then to hell with it. i will just go out and get stuck in the fucking crawl. then, i saw lightning and heard the thunder. i look down my window, the crawl became ten times worse. rain started pouring and the strong wind howls like a wolf. so strong the windowpanes started shaking. eerie. felt like the whole apartment was about to tumble down. fine, i am not going out anymore. my tummy growled so i took a lift down to the apartment's cafeteria to get a breather and something to fill my little stomach. then i head to we serve minimarket. crap name. we serve minimarket. we serve minimarket. ha. anyway, they ran out of dunhill lights. as usual. oh and you know what, the cafeteria serves the worse chicken pao in the world i swear i almost puked. i took a bite and then i threw it away. i am now feeding on mauro picotto's awesome tunes. one friend just asked me on msn what sort of tattoo he should get. helped him browse through the net abit and told myself i will get another soon. in the future after i get married, i will fly to miami for honeymoon and get ami james to ink me. HAHAHAHHAHA what the fuck. gah. hrm, tired already. thank you all for reading. you have very good patience, eh?

ok, i think i am really insane.
and it sucks so much when you try so hard to pretend to be happy.

silence. i kill you.

2008-01-02T14:15:00.000+08:00

first post for year 2008.
don't worry.
i will not go about ranting and recapping what good deed or bad stuff i did for the whole of year 2007.
i will not list down whatsoever new years resolution.
i'll just start it off by wishing every single soul i know and whoever who reads this blog, a very happy new year and belated christmas wtf.

spent the NYE in genting highlands with a bunch of psychotic bytches and mofos.
it's been awhile, really.
we had so much fun talking cocks and laughing our ass off.
not forgetting the ultimate bitching session and david's ever so wonderful performance.
all the fun times minus ryan.
*sobs*

uhh, how time flies.
last year's NYE was spent right in the heart of the city somewhere near KLCC, in the car and alone. pathetic.
all because i need to go pick ryan back from work.
and of course i watched the fireworks all by myself lah.
but i can tell you,
uncle lim's fireworks in genting was superb with the capital s.
like, the best fireworks i've ever seen in my 21 years of life.
damn kampong.

i'm feeling dead tired.
14 hours of sleep and i still feel like crap.

P/S: feel free to visit http://freeeisgood.blogspot.com - this website is seriously giving away free stuff! all you need to do is just key-in your email address in the comment box and the owner of the site will randomly pick a winner! unbelievable? believe it! i have won myself the latest 1GB Kingston Data Traveler and one friend, David has also won himself a Limited Edition Red iPod Shuffle! so, it's not a scam lah wtf. go show some support and good luck! =)

no title for today.

2007-12-23T06:58:00.000+08:00

who the fuck wakes up 6:30am on a sunday morning?
and stand by the window to watch cars after cars zoom pass the highway.
with all their headlights on.
the street lamps standing tall and brightly lit.
you hear little birds chirping.
ahh. beautiful beautiful sight.

anyhoos,

it's 7:00am. i am bored.
ryan left for work 45 mins ago after giving me a peck on the cheek.
then i was too happy i couldn't sleep anymore.

... . . ... ... .
kidding.

gahh.
feeling so restless.

i am turning into a torrent junkie.
everything also want to download.
damn terok.
"what you downloading again!? what's this? omg no space already lah!" says ryan.
alarhh. just because he doesn't fancy all my tv series and reality shows.
Iron Chef, Top Chef and Miami Ink excluded wtf.
the thoughts of ami james inking my 3rd baby..ahhhhhhhhh.

approx. 9 hours more till he comes back.
i better start downloading more shits.
tra la la :D
off to watch my newly downloaded amazing race asia episode 5.
i missed them on thursday.

oooooh.
the sky is so very bright already.
it's 7.40am now.
i feel like listening to some soul searching music before watching ARA.
no, i think i'd go brush my teeth first.
:D
erm no, i'd go get a fag, brush my teeth, listen to some soul searching music, then watch ARA!
..before going back to la-la land.

baibai and have a happy happy sunday!
errr, it's my sister's birthday today.
happy 18th birthday, sis! :)

2007-12-19T20:42:00.000+08:00

i am tired.
i am so very tired.

2007-12-08T22:42:00.001+08:00

...and i heard them whispering,
"we all have but she don't, we've been there but she hasn't."

i am willing to give up ryan...

2007-12-08T15:08:00.000+08:00

for moses chan!
nyahahahaa *slurp*

has anyone gotten so drunk that their ears started ringing?
or like..drumming and buzzing?
GAH!!!11

i swear the biatch has never gotten this drunk before.
she puke, like twice omfg.
ugh, torturous.
my throat and "somewhere-higher-than-the-boobs-around-the-chest-area" is hurting like a bitch.
*burp* i still taste liquor.

I WANNA GO SHOPPING!
:(

oh ya.
errr, ebay suck.

2007-12-04T10:10:00.000+08:00

100 words.
less.
HAHAHHAHA.
lovely.

you feeling good?

2007-11-25T12:51:00.000+08:00

wake up.
get out.
not here.
it won't fit.

2007-11-20T23:07:00.000+08:00

shucks.
i fucking love you.

recharge revelations 5 - global gathering.

2007-11-07T20:33:00.000+08:00

27th october 2007.
a famosa resort, malacca.

more pictures here.
cannot view ar? sign up for facebook lah wtf!

2007-11-06T12:45:00.000+08:00

will update soon.
am going through the toughest chapter in life.

where the hell are you unkle jonn!!!!!!!!!1111

oh simple thing, where have you gone?

2007-11-01T22:10:00.001+08:00

hi,
how are you doing?

one.
it has been only one day ever since you left.
no signals, no warnings.
the torment is unbearable.
i am now left with nothing.
nothing to hang on to.
nothing at all.
it is cruel how you took a part of me with you.
i somehow wish you were here.
but i know you will never return.

oh, where are you my darling wallet?

2007-10-25T12:20:00.000+08:00

"Without you,
I've been standing 'round like a statue,
laying on the floor thinking about you,
I talk to myself like the crazies do,
otherwise I'm great, what about you?"

"kingkong living in the jungle mah! wtf." Hahahahahahaha.

2007-10-18T18:30:00.000+08:00

i wish i was a tiger,
i can eat you alive.

i wish i was a man,
i can fuck the shit out of you.

...of monday morning and no need to work!

2007-10-15T10:11:00.000+08:00

ryan woke me up so suddenly this morning asking me to go to work.

"wake up! no need to go work ah?"
"*mumbles* herh? work, work? today what day?"
"monday lah!"
"oh izzit? shit shit shit...*think think think* eh fuck no, today public holiday lah tiu!"

i almost got conned.
my poor boy has to work.
:[

HA! my 2nd baby! :D

check out that freaky pair of leg.
credits to my sister.

it's only 10.33am and i don't know what to do.
have a good day :)

cannot tahan.

2007-10-11T12:30:00.000+08:00

5 Things In My Bag:
a) wallet
b) ~~soiled~~ tissue papers
c) cigarettes
d) fisherman's friend
e) urm, i found a box of staples

5 Things In My Wallet:
a) identity card
b) credit card receipts -_-"
c) 2 pieces of fugly passport photographs
d) 50 ringgit note - one and only piece *cries*
e) atm card

5 Thing I Like Most In My Room:
a) the bed
b) the parfums
c) pat pat & po po
d) everything
e) else

5 Things I Would Like To Try:
a) bungee jumping
b) parachuting
c) don't
d) know
e) dei

5 Things I Am Doing Now:
a) this
b) munching on ken kudo's ferrero rocher
c) listening to bon jovi's classic hits playing on AZ's macintosh.
d) thinking..
e) and thinking..

i am so lazy i have to steal this tag from mr.yap.

how do you handle braggers?

2007-10-11T10:36:00.000+08:00

bored lazy tired exhausted dreamy annoyed distressed drained fatigued jaded weary laa dee dah..

feeling demotivated already?

HAHAHAHHAA.

zzzzzzzzzzz.

syrjgpepwejhqifnvnsihtn!!!!!

*&$#)&*^^$#(&(&$&!!!!

some pictures from yiwei's farewell party @ maison.

yah-lah so outdated already.

i'm lazy wtf.

yiwei in green. looking..very drunk.

vanessa :) su ann peilee siongteng josephine

hunter. ok, that's not his real name.

no more! back to work :[

one little two little three.

2007-10-08T09:18:00.000+08:00

YAY!
:]

i loathe farewell dinners.

2007-09-30T12:40:00.000+08:00

my dearest yiwei and sue ann's farewell dinner @ riblees, sri hartamas.

josh's bitchy face.

front: gimloong, weelun, myself, sue ann, yenchi, yiwei, fara, chonghow, kenghui
back: ally, su ann, josephine, yeongshiun, hunter

don't learn this, kids.

2007-09-27T22:16:00.000+08:00

i read people.
i seriously do.

no time for updates.
damn 7 busy shit also no time okay.

come to think of it, i have got tonnes of pictures to upload!
but..but..urghh.

bai bai.

just as i thought....

2007-09-23T12:18:00.000+08:00

[this post has been deleted]

your big day!

2007-09-18T14:27:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to the BIGGEST
FAN-SHU (POTATO) ever!
wah-raoz. this pose damn fail ok.

i hope you love the little surprise birthday party. i'm a bad bad organizer. but i think, it still managed to surprise you tiny bit. hehe. happy birthday and ermm, may all your wish come true. wtf, damn kolot right? -_-"

"Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come."
- Lucy Larcom

banyak-banyak love from,
your psychotic and aherm, adorable girlfriend.

never too far away.

2007-09-11T10:58:00.000+08:00

to go or not to go.
to go or not to go
to go or not to go.

TO GO OR NOT TO GO!!!

:(

kill me lah kill me.

semi-hiatus.

2007-09-02T16:16:00.000+08:00

hair~~cut~~ chop!
nyahahahaha.
short short shot fun fun fun!

i spotted this in The Star newspaper on 31st August.
51st Merdeka? weird.

and this, somewhere in KL.
wth is bamboo and wooden chicks?
anyone, explain to me wtf.

sunday sunday. wee wee woo hoo..

2007-08-29T22:46:00.000+08:00

hiatus.

stoom stoom stoom hahahaha.

2007-08-24T15:32:00.000+08:00

*points above*
that's the sound of my throbbing brain.
i think it's gonna explode - very soon.
like a time bomb.

super sleepy and weak now ok.
you can easily push me down with your one tiniest finger.
i have got a new achievement now.
i can sit up straight and sleep already! like FookQ.
hahahaha.
nicotine does not work anymore.
caffeine either.
maybe some hugs and kisses.
hahahaaa.

today is beefy's birthday. i think i wanna throw her in the pool later tonight.
but i guess she would be so drunk and jump into the pool herself.
hahahaa.

errrm, yuck. dickface.
i want to chop him into 11 pieces.
and stuff him into the refrigerator.
cb pretentious bragger.

i don't think i am quite conscious now.
i only had 4 hours of sleep and i feel like a zombie.
ryan's fault. he is so crappy i don't even feel like going to bed.
yak yak yak yak and yak. but it was so fun.
hrmmmmmmm, love him long time.

life is boring.
i feel like a 40 year old.
and this makes me wanna cry.
woo woo woo.

hello, is it 6.30pm yet?
no? crap.
zzzzzzz.

ava adore.

2007-08-19T14:47:00.000+08:00

in you i see dirty
in you i count stars
in you i feel so pretty
in you i taste god
in you i feel so hungry
in you i crash cars

we must never be apart.

the not-so-big day.

2007-08-15T15:10:00.000+08:00

becareful hor. many pictures infront hor. don't say i no warn you ok.

my ruby girl and i went to Cilantro Restaurant and Wine Bar @ MiCasa All Suite Hotel last wednesday for my pre-birthday outing. coincidently, it was also my chef's last day there and i thought i would pay him a visit. check out my super yummy dessert platter lah.

i know, don't look yummy at all. wait until you taste them. you cannot blame okay. the lighting is really dim and we were using a cellphone camera =/ i will name the desserts soon. that explains the numberings. i need to check them out with my personal chef. sorry, i only know how to eat.

ruby's favourite past time is self whoring.

and whore others around her.

too many camwhore pictures of ruby i cannot afford to post them all. get them from me personally. local charges applies.

next up...

i had my birthday dinner at Riblees, Sri Hartamas one day before my actual birth date. reason being because it was my 2nd boyfriend's birthday on the 10th. yeah, one day before mine. he celebrated his birthday earlier and don't have anything interesting to do on his actual birth date. i don't want him to die of boredom on his big day so i had to celebrate earlier lah wtf. see, such good hearted friend. where to find? heh, and i like to make things sound complicated.

yiwei, my partner in crime.

my favourite peeps.
chi, david, ryan, gimloong, ky, weelun, the big shots.

thanks to gimloong for the candid shots.

now, a decent one.

my chi and her long pontianak looking fingers. hahahaha.

this one no need to introduce anymore.

thanks to david for his fantabulous performance. it's FOC btw. no charges incurred :D and i'm sorry i had to make you go all the way down to your ride to get your tools. but you're such a nice person i know you wouldn't mind. ok, i'm being a little thick face here. people, trust me. david is really good. book him for your whatever functions and your guests will leave will a big ass smile on their face. ~~or either they will leave in shock.~~ he is so good i am not gonna play mental games with him anymore. i've seen him performed many times but still, he freaked me out. very much.

later at night, josephine and ST came and join us for a bit.

thank you very much for coming peeps.
and also, for the birthday calls, smses, friendster and tagboard comments, and emails. merci beaucoup mes amis.

p/s: i slept throughout my big day. i did not get wasted. i never had a single drop of alcohol. not even a sniff. i swear. why you all don't believe me lah? REALLYY LAAAA. age is catching up lah wtf wtf.

2007-08-14T01:01:00.000+08:00

updating soon.
be patient unkle jonn.
i know you are waiting.
i am currently taking a break.
and digging good food.
:D

another.. .

2007-08-11T09:15:00.000+08:00

it's my birthday today.
wish me lah wtf.

cold turkey.

2007-08-08T16:55:00.000+08:00

my insides all turned to ash, so slow
and blew away as i collapsed, so cold
a black wind took them away, from sight
and now the darkness over day, that night

and the clouds above move closer
looking so dissatisfied
but the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing

i used to be my own protection, but not now
cause my path had lost direction, somehow
a black wind took you away, from sight
and now the darkness over day, that night

and the clouds above more closer
looking so dissatisfied
and the ground below grew colder
as they put you down inside
but the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing

fuck. where?
nowhere to be seen.
very pathetic, i know.

nothing else matters.

2007-08-06T11:33:00.000+08:00

"I need a sharper nose."
"I think I will go and get my boobies enlarged."
"Liposuction!"
"Give me Einstein's brain."
"I'm dying for a pair of long legs."

I want a better health.

[EDIT] 2.23pm
alright, i think i need to clarify something. i only want a better health. those i have quoted are what other people might want. and no, mr. thomas yap. i don't need to reincarnate, YET.

2007-08-02T15:51:00.000+08:00

"if everyone cared and nobody cried
if everyone loved and nobody lied
if everyone shared and swallowed their pride
then we'd see the day when nobody died."

thank you unkle jonn.
=D

happy 21st my chi.

2007-07-30T12:25:00.000+08:00

yenchi's birthday bash @ mystique last saturday.

all pictures courtesy of david and yenchi's friendster. heh.

the birthday babe.

her other half, david.

her 'act-cute' moments.

ok lah i know it's always the 3 of us.

my weekends damn unproductive man.
saturday, used up half of the day loitering in the curve with ruby and chaiyen without buying anything. urm, bought small things. and crap, i had 5 meals in a day. boogie night with the family in mystique towards the end of the day followed by another birthday bash in Neway @ Times Square.

sunday, slept whole day lah what else.
.....

i've got a bag full of motherfuckers and smashed assholes.
you want some?

wednesday already?

2007-07-25T11:42:00.000+08:00

it's confirmed.

he don't love me no more.
there is a third party.
he said he would love to do her.

her name is Elisha Cuthbert.

ryan has been watching The Girl Next Door for the umpteenth time already. the latest was yesterday night. he smiled throughout the whole movie. a bloody cheeky and horny one. this is freaking me out.

how now brown cow?

[EDIT] 3.53pm
my emo calv suggested that i can get even by watching whoever i think is hot. heh. right. tonight i'm going home to download Wicker Park, Pearl Harbour, Hollywood Homicide, Black Hawk Down, Lucky Number Slevin, The Virgin Suicides etc etc etc etc.

woot. it will soon be my turn to smile cheekily and horny-ly watching Josh Hartnett. Ashton Kutcher is next.

in your face mr.ryan.

[EDIT][EDIT] 9.38pm
i just got back from work and dinner. i switched on the PC and crap, i saw Elisha Cuthbert staring at me. i swear to God i still see the picture of Dj Scot spinning in UVNation as the desktop wallpaper yesterday night wtf. and what's worse? i maximize Azureus and saw a few movies downloading. Love Actually, Captivity, The Quiet. all starred by Elisha Cuthbert. tonight he will be sleeping out at the living hall.

*bangs head against wall and die*

dilemma.

2007-07-23T17:33:00.001+08:00

such brilliant offer.

what do i do what do i do.

fucking lost.

you tell me.

dunnowhattoblogwtf.

2007-07-23T14:42:00.000+08:00

There was a man who had 3 very loving girlfriends. They are all pretty and nice. And he's having great trouble trying to decide who to marry. So, he gave each one of them $5,000 and see what they do with the money.

The first one, went out shopping. Bought nice clothes & do up her hair and everything. She said to him: "I love you so much that I spent all the money to make myself look pretty and nice because I know you like it. Just for you." He's touched. This girl did everything so that he will love her.

The second girlfriend took the money and bought all kinds of nice clothes and latest gadgets for him. She said to him: "I love you so much that I spent all the money to buy you gifts and things that you like. I love you so much that I left nothing for myself." He's very touched. She gave everything to him.

The third girlfriend took the money and invested them into the stock market. Within 5 days, the money doubled. She took out the $5000, gave it back to him and the balance she opened another investment account. She said to him:"I love you so much that I'll help you grow your money so you won't have to worry about living. I'll take care of everything for you." Naturally, he's touched too. This girl is so intelligent and so loving.

Then he had to make a decision on who to marry; and he decided to marry the one with the BIGGEST breasts.

Morale of the story: Men will always be men.

guilt.

2007-07-18T12:31:00.000+08:00

dear you,

it has been almost 3 years now.
look how time flies.
i hope you are doing alright.
it's great to know that you are still keeping the broken watch.
and everything else.

there is something that i have always wanted to tell you.
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry i let us fail.

p/s : thank you for the memories.

xoxo.

abcdefck you.

2007-07-14T18:29:00.000+08:00

gone.devotion.promise.forward.lost.thoughts.dead.lie.commitment.over.
alone.voices.pain.abandon.darkness.appreciation.wound.ego.regrets.love.
selfishness.try.existence.salvation.erase.fate.devastation.forsake.chance.
invisible.mistake.stolen.ability.dream.escape.scar.change.ignorance.numb.
faults.distant.rewind.blind.reality.absence.pride.fears.security.fall.past.
unknown.scream.foolish.return.faith.satisfaction.empty.mistake.nothing.
bitter.embrace.toleration.silence.echo.together.failure.wishes.bliss.shame.

life.

miss banana.

2007-07-12T23:12:00.000+08:00

sumutaO says:
你好。
dysphoria. says:
dunno how to read lah wtf.
sumutaO says:
郑燕茹
dysphoria. says:
that's my name, dumbo.
dysphoria. says:
hahahaa
dysphoria. says:
but the last letter should be without the two horns on top
dysphoria. says:
just the lower part
dysphoria. says:
lol
sumutaO says:
你在干吗？
dysphoria. says:
errr..wo pu ming pai?
dysphoria. says:
hahaha
sumutaO says:
笨蛋！
dysphoria. says:
AHHHHHHH WHUTEVEEERR!
sumutaO says:
damn, u can't even read simple chinese ar?
dysphoria. says:
yes, i can't.. -_-"
dysphoria. says:
i only know one two three four...ten..mouth..human..sky..big..small...date..month..my own name..
dysphoria. says:
:D
sumutaO says:
i give u tuition class, RM1200 per month
dysphoria. says:
fuhlamak!
dysphoria. says:
gila so expensive
dysphoria. says:
i ask my mother to teach me FOC
dysphoria. says:
chiz.
sumutaO says:
i'm a pro!
dysphoria. says:
my mother also pro!
sumutaO says:
i guess ur mother don't know how type chinese on MSN.
sumutaO says:
hehe
sumutaO says:
i can
dysphoria. says:
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH. true also hor.

damn fail lah me i know.

guidelines for anyone as banana as me.
你好。 = ni hao [hello]
你在干吗？= ni zai gan ma? [what are you doing?]
笨蛋！= ben dan [stupid]

happy learning wtf.

seeking solace.

2007-07-09T21:44:00.000+08:00

my long time sickness has gotten me all emo-ish since last week.
i shed tears listening to x-japan's longing.
been blasting delerium and sarah mclachlan's silence.
orgasmic. fucken' euphoric.

the bitch is super broke now.

her credit card bills are piling up like mad.
but the mega sales is still on.
she just bought her prince a brand new mobile phone.
because she owed him many presents.
last year's birthday present. last year's christmas present. this year's valentine's present.
urm, what else?

ahhh. PMS PMS PMS.
fuck the monthly cramp.
fuck life.